I’ve intimidated people twice today.
1) At the supermarket checkout someone behind me was having an argument on the phone with his girlfriend. To be fair to him, he was so angry that he’d forgotten where he was and couldn’t gauge how loud his voice was.
“I don’t have fuck all to do with that fucking photo! I’m fucking tellin’ yer! Shut up, you daft cunt! I don’t know fuck all about that fucking photo. I’m fucking tellin’ yer.”
He had a young boy with him. Whether this lad was his son or not, it’s generally accepted that you don’t swear like, well, me in front of kids that age.
So I stared at him…and stared…and stared…until eventually I got his attention. When he finally met my gaze I looked at the boy then back at him. He realised where he was and what he was doing.
“Err, I’m at the checkout at the supermarket. I’ll talk about this later. Sorry everyone.”
Win!
2) *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
My robotic chair is right next to the front door so that’s the sound my door makes when anyone so much as touches it. When someone knocks at my door, it’s pretty much a given that you’ll startle the shit out of me. About an hour ago, someone knocked at the door.
“Hello mate!”
“Erm, hi?”
“Oh no! Have you just got home from work?”
“What?”
“You look like you’ve…”
“What do you want?”
“Oh…erm…I’m from the Red Cross and…”
“I can see that. You’re wearing a bright yellow jacket with the Red Cross logo on the chest.”
“Have I come at a bad time?”
“Yup”
“Okay then. I’ll leave you alone.”
Win!
No Comments