Hey! Paedophiles! Check this out!

Can you guess who got a scanner today? In all the time I’ve had a computer, I’ve never owned one. Expect the next few weeks of bloggery to consist of crudely drawn cocks and, well, that’s it.

Until then, enjoy the only photo of me as a child that I’m aware of. Make sure you mop up afterwards.

Hello there, sexy child.

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